Dating

I really enjoyed talking about dating this week in my family relations class.  I was able to apply the things I learned to my own life.

First, one of the things that was brought up by my teacher is that we tend to use the word "dating" in the wrong situations.  When someone says "we're dating" we naturally think they are boyfriend ans girlfriend.  I was surprised to discover that the word dating is defined as doing a variety of activities with a variety of different people not necessarily being in a relationship with someone.  In class we discussed how there are four basic steps in relationships...

1.) Dating

2.) Courtship 

3.) Engagement

4.) Marriage

Each of these four steps take a lot of time and energy and should not be rushed into or skipped over.  Many times, especially in a place such as BYU-Idaho, couples will slide through these steps because of a lack of communication.  Sliding sometimes leads to a successful relationship/marriage but taking time during each phase leads a couple more in the direction of a successful marriage.  Couples who take their time are also more prepared for marriage because they have taken the time to know each other and to see how he or she reacts to certain situations therefore leading to less surprises in marriage.  

Something else I found to be very interesting is called the Relationship. Attachment. Model from the book How to Avoid Falling in Love With a Jerk. This book talks about how there are 5 pillars in every relationship: Knowing someone, Trusting them, Relying on them, Commitment and the Touch.  According to the book a healthy relationship should start with knowing each other and follow in this particular order in a gradual motion.  If someone goes out of the order it could cause one to think that the other categories went up as well.  For example if a couple starts holding hands and kissing right away the individual may think they really know a person when in reality they don't.  They are blinded by the good feelings they are experiencing from physical touch and don't recognize the mistake until he or she gets their heart broken.