Hey everyone so this past week I learned some really interesting things about the wedding preparation stage and the early years in marriage. In terms of wedding planning we discussed how important it is to have both the bride and the groom involved. Even if the groom is willing to have his fiancee plan everything because he wants her to have anything she wants in the wedding. The engagement/wedding process can help us learn skills that are very valuable throughout the marriage. A marriage is about working together as a team and compromising therefore both the groom and the bride should make decisions together
Critical Tasks for Marriage: Great Wedding:
-Clear boundaries ------> -Groom and bride make decisions together
-Budgeting resources---------> -A wedding is a practice round for future financial
decisions.Weddings don't have to be crazy expensive.
Work with a budget that is reasonable for both bride and
groom.
-Open Communication--------> -Talk about wedding plans openly
-Making important decisions------> -Self explanatory. Exercise communication and problem
solving skills.
-Establishing good relationships in family----> -"Your not just marrying each other your marrying their
families". A wedding is an opportunity for both families to
get to know each other more and work together in certain
tasks. Try to work with and include both sides of the
family equally therefore setting up good relationships for the future.
In class last week we also discussed some issues that arise in the earlier years in marriage. Specifically we talked about how in many cases couples wonder why their marriage decreases as children are born? This doesn't necessarily happen to everyone but in many cases it does occur. Those who are effected negatively often think "Aren't children suppose to make us happier and bring our marriage closer?". Children certainly can enrich our families lives as well as bring the marriage closer but not without effort of course.
This sad situation may occur because there is a lot of attention on the child, couples may go on less or no dates, sometimes the mother doesn't present opportunities for the father to be a parent, men perceive that after children are born the wife disagrees with the husband more. There are also the possibilities that men think the wife always knows a lot more than he does about parenting so he stays out of the situations and there also can be less communication and more assumptions being made.
These things can be avoided as long as both husband and wife are aware and understanding of one another. For example even if a mom does know more about parenting it is essential to have equal and many opportunities to involve the father and make decisions together as a couple. It is also important to recognize and express love and appreciation to the things each spouse does. Couples should go on dates and still continue courtship all throughout marriage. Alone time is essential for the parents marriage. Don't be afraid to show your affection for each other in front of your kids. It not only benefits your marriage but it also teaches them why closeness and expression is so important.
Yes a wedding and marriage are defiantly not easy but as long as both man and woman are committed and continue to express love for each other (even through hard times) and they communicate well anything is possible.
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